Opinion: Win virtual meetings by knowing personal styles

When I flew home from a client meeting on March 13, 2020, I had no idea that all our on-site speaking, training and coaching engagements scheduled for the year would cancel due to what we all know now as coronavirus.

Many businesses, mine included, had to adapt quickly. In my estimation, some people made the transition seem easy, while other people freaked out about whether to jump into virtual meeting platforms. Still, virtual meetings have catapulted in popularity globally, and like it or not, they’re a mainstay for doing business today. Many leaders, salespeople, trainers and coaches now routinely use virtual formats, such as Zoom and Teams. Consequently, Zoom, has grown from 10 million daily active users to over 300 million.

After the shock of having all my engagements canceled, I converted my home office into an office studio. Today, it’s not uncommon for me to conduct 20 or more virtual training sessions monthly – an almost impossible pace if I had to be everywhere on-site.

If we want to thrive in our jobs, we must be excellent at working and relating with others virtually. But how do you connect with someone whose face is squeezed into a 6-inch square on a video grid? Can you create rapport? Can you spot their style preferences for communication, pace and relationship building?

When interacting with a person, the fastest way to make them comfortable with you is to observe how they interact and to interact with them in those ways. You don’t want to copycat their body language or words – just be yourself – but interact in ways they prefer to interact so you can create rapport more quickly. 

Start with observing what people discuss, the length and details of their conversation and the pace and tone they use. Observe how they make eye contact, use gestures and if they are restless or relaxed.

Anyone can learn how to build better virtual interactions by identifying the four main personality styles and tendencies:

1. Determined drivers. Look for people who enjoy speaking up and giving their ideas or opinions. They may be impatient as listeners, looking uninterested or interrupting someone when they want the bottom line. Thriving on results, they are bold and confident and tend to express their views as facts. They like to ask questions such as, “What’s the bottom line?” or “How much will it cost, and how will I benefit?” Emphasize action and be direct about results.
2. Expressive communicators. An expressive person is talkative and excited. They willingly share their ideas and opinions with a persuasive style. You may see them sitting forward with open body language, ready to interact, brainstorm or collaborate. They regularly watch and affirm others with verbal and nonverbal communication. They want minimal details, so keep the discussion moving. Be positive and enthusiastic.
3. Amiable helpers. These are probably the most relaxed people on the videoconference. They will nod, make eye contact and pay careful attention to what you say. They may use “I feel” statements when they speak, such as, “I feel like I need some time to think about this.” They talk about their team and the company’s values. While their laid-back, agreeable nature can appear to be positive support, they may disagree with you but not voice it. Silence is not golden with an amiable helper, so follow up privately and discover what they’re thinking. Don’t overwhelm them with details. Give them extra time to think things through.
4. Analytical thinkers. Analytical personalities may express low enthusiasm or energy. They constantly analyze information and may overpower people with details, facts and figures. They are precise and accurate and may use “I think” statements. At times, they’ll over-question the process or procedures and most definitely will challenge assumptions or unsupported conclusions. They tend to ask “how” and “why” questions. Give them sufficient information and reinforce their knowledge with your support.

We can engage people effectively and produce our desired results or fall flat and be disappointed. The difference is mastering an understanding of personalities and adjusting our style successfully.

Consultant, professional speaker and author Mark Holmes is president of Springfield-based Consultant Board Inc. and MarkHolmesGroup.com. He can be reached at mark@markholmesgroup.com.